Easy does it.

Not wishing to arrive late at the shipping office I got up early, ate, packed and left the hotel to find the shipping office in Downtown Haifa.  The guy at the front desk printed me a map and said it would take about 15 minutes to get there.  I left an hour… and was late.

This time it wasn’t my fault.  Hear me out.  I was lost with 25 minutes to spare and pulled over in a car wash to ask for directions (-10 man points).  The first guy held my shitty little map and stared at me.  No help here.  Then he pointed at a large man in a black vest and motioned me to join him.  Off I went like a lamb to the slaughter.  This guy was in his late 50s heavily built, bald, moustached and covered in tattoos (some very fresh).  He was on the phone speaking something akin to Russian.  While he was talking I took stock of his tattoos and noticed the universal sign for Airborne forces along with old what looked like unit callsigns and other markings in Cyrillic script.  His watch had another military style insignia at the 12 o’clock position and the knuckles on both hands where newly skinned.  He hung up and I became the focus of his attention. 

He turned out to be a nice guy and didn’t speak a word of English so he called a friend who tried to help:

Me “Hello? I need to help with directions please.”

Friend “Do you speak Polish?”

Me “No.”

Friend “I can’t help.”

I hung up and was offered a cup of Turkish coffee now it was 8:50am, 10 minutes until I’m meant to be walking through the door.  Then my new friend pointed at his airborne tattoos and said “Spetsnaz.” He pointed to the sky then at himself and to the ground.  The coffee was hot; I’m going to be late.  I nodded politely and tried to finish the coffee without burning my mouth.  Then he showed me his knuckles and adopted a boxer’s stance, clearly very proud of his work.  Again, I nodded and finished my coffee.  He offered me a can of energy drink which I refused so he poured me a shot of it and we toasted before he let me go.  As I got up to leave he picked up his sweat stained baseball cap and gave it to me with the word:

“Souvenir.”

Thanking him I left and found the shipping office less than 500m away.  Leaving the bike on the pavement I went in.  Amal, the lady dealing with shipping, told me that I didn’t need to come here until the next day and that there was no one to move my bike into the port.  I had sent emails and confirmed my 9 o’clock appointment.  At no stage wad this mentioned and I have a hotel booked in Tel Aviv for this afternoon.  Then a guy walked in with a helmet and bike jacket.  He was clearly local and I assumed that he worked there.  We chatted about bikes he has a 1990 something Honda VFR800 with 250,000km on the clock.  Very impressive for a bike.  It turned out that he was also shipping his bike to Greece and had a 9 o’clock appointment.  With him on my side things got easier and finally Amal said that we could wait about couple of hours and drop the bikes off later.  I went to change out of my riding gear so I could send it with the bike.  As I was about to leave the office another guy walked in.  He was wearing tight stone washed jeans and a tight white t-shirt with a neckless. 

“Ooooh” he cooed “it’s you again!” he said looking at me.

“um, not me again, this is my first time…. In Israel” I added quickly.

“You look like a film star, Hollywood would snap up a man like you.”

“Um, thanks…. I need to change, excuse me.” I said and left the room with my back to the nearest wall.

I after changing I was sorting the kit that was going with the bike and the kit that was to stay with me when Stonewash came into the corridor and told me to use an office.  I moved my stuff where he pointed then he walked into his office.  I have never packed faster!

After extricating myself with my virtue intact my fellow biker and I went in search of coffee and chatted crap until the call came in.  Then we returned and drove the bikes into the port where we underwent the usual security checks before leaving the bikes behind and heading to the train station.  Without him there is no way I would have found my way through the port bureaucracy, hell I wouldn’t have found the port!  Before we parted company we realised we hadn’t introduced ourselves, he told me his name was Easy.    

"Just give me a key, leave it here and you'll se it again in Greece."
Seems legit...